A Comprehensive Gchat Recap of This Week’s The Newsroom


Newsroom_wedding

HBO



We’re exhausted from Thanksgiving festivities, but not so exhausted that we couldn’t watch—and recap, in 21st-century new-media Gchat format—our beloved Newsroom. In fact, if anything can cure a post-holiday slump, it’s TV’s most exquisite hour, and this week didn’t disappoint. Last week’s episode was fine; this week’s was outstanding. In a meta move for the ages, show creator Aaron Sorkin has parlayed his cancellation into a metaphor for the death of the news industry generally—all while retaining the show’s characteristic idealism, here embodied in a touching, too-brief wedding between The Newsroom’s central lovers. We’ll say it: We cried. Multiple times. And if you’re any kind of feeling human, you did too.


Jason Kehe: I’m so tired after the break.

I thought sinks were called pinks this morning.

Jordan Crucchiola: That’s quite the switch!

Kehe: I have no idea what’s happening.

Where I am.

Who I am.

Let’s watch.

Crucchiola: Yes.

Crucchiola: I have to fast-forward through this Looking promo.

Which is … awful?

Kehe: Terrible.

Crucchiola: It’s like Queer as Folk: The Remix.

Kehe: I was trying SO HARD to like it.

Like, is this edgy?

Cool?

Tantalizing?

Nope.

Crucchiola: No, it’s trite.

GAYS AND HOUSE BEATS.

Kehe: Can we put this in the recap?

The people need to know.

Crucchiola: We might as well

Angela [our editor, hiii!!] can snip it out if she thinks it’s dumb. [Eds. note: Angela didn't.]

Kehe: OK, PLAY!

Crucchiola: Commence requisite pulse racing!

Kehe: Why do the women’s names come after the men’s in the opening credits?

Crucchiola: Do they?

Kehe: In every coupling.

Jeff Daniels, then Emily Mortimer.

Crucchiola: Is it not just alphabetical?

Kehe: John Gallagher, Jr., then Alison Pill.

Thomas Sadoski, then Olivia Munn.

Crucchiola: Wow.

Sharp eyes.

OK, Episode 4: “Contempt”

Oh man. That name is going to be so appropriate.

Kehe: Third-to-last teleplay by Aaron Sorkin.

Crucchiola: I can’t process that yet.

Kehe: Becca (Marcia Gay Harden) is explaining the legal process vis-a-vis the subpoena.

Crucchiola: Giving everyone the rundown about how Will (Daniels) is going to face the grand jury.

“I didn’t think they’d have the sack to subpoena you,” says Mac (Emily Mortimer) about Will being served.

Uh-oh, the media has picked up on Will’s angry comments about the Correspondents’ Dinner.

Kehe: A site called Carnivore (good name).

Which I think we all know is Hallie’s (Grace Gummer) new media job.

Crucchiola: Oh yeah it is!

Kehe: BuzzFeed reporter asking for comment.

Crucchiola: There is going to be a major Jim (Gallagher)/Hallie fight.


[Poolside at the Correspondents' Dinner.]


Kehe: Maggie (Pill) and ethics prof. poolside.

Crucchiola: “Why do they have names like that? Carnivore? Beast? Gawker?”

… asks Aaron Sorkin.

Kehe: They’re cute together.

But it’s not meant to be.

Maggie wants to travel back to NY (read: rekindle the fire) with Jim.

Crucchiola: I hate that you’re talking about Jim and Maggie’s future.

Kehe: It’s called inevitability.

Crucchiola: Do you really think that’s what’s going to happen?

Am I so blinded by my hatred?

Kehe: Yes, ESPECIALLY in light of ethics prof’s major faux pas just now—he’s recapping Maggie’s story about Jim and Hallie to…Jim and Hallie, because he didn’t realize it’s them? C’mon.

Crucchiola: Cue Hallie-Jim fight.

Crucchiola: Hallie to Jim: “WHY DON’T YOU BELIEVE IN ME?”

Kehe: Jim: “How did Carnivore get that story about Will?”

Crucchiola: He trusts her 0 percent.

Kehe: BUT, she wasn’t aware of that story until Jim leaked it?

Jim: “You had nothing to do with it?”

PREGNANT PAUSE

Crucchiola: Oh come ON, Hallie!

Kehe: Yikes.

Crucchiola: She TOLD Carnivore what to look for?!

Kehe: Are we supposed to turn on Hallie? To make their inevitable breakup more palatable?

Crucchiola: Gross, Hallie.

GROSS, Sorkin.

Kehe: Maybe they’re perfect for each other.

Crucchiola: Yeah.

Kehe: Both pretty slimy.

Unless she’s rebelling against his sliminess by meeting—and exceeding—it.

Crucchiola: She can keep doing questionable things and Jim can keep fueling his ego with disapproval.

At least Don and Sloan showed up to be cooler than both of them.


[In another location at the Correspondents' Dinner.]


Crucchiola: Oh no. Pruit (B.J. Novak).

“Books are like the new art: We don’t need them anymore, but they look nice.”

Kehe: Spewing inanities.

OMG.

Crucchiola: Pruit demanded to meet the ACN principals at a party just to prove a POINT.

This is The Sork putting The Valley on a pike!

Kehe: Charlie (Sam Waterston) hates him with the burning passion of a thousand real journalists.

Will is being rational.

Crucchiola: Pruit is questioning Mac’s accent?!

Kehe: She does look suspicious—she keeps glancing around (for the source, as if she’ll just show up).

Crucchiola: Pruitt: “Our users become the audience and the audience becomes contributors.”

Kehe: Charlie is giving him a talking-to, which of course we agree with, because he’s the walking embodiment of why we’re journalists.

Crucchiola: Pruit to Charlie: “The air up on that pedestal must be pretty thin, because you are delusional, sir.”

He could not be more obnoxious.

Kehe: Charlie to Pruit: “We have a problem, you and me.”

Crucchiola: Jim isn’t even that obnoxious.

Kehe: Not even close

Crucchiola: OK, so The Sork just aired his night terrors about the digital age/the critics who’ve toppled him.


[Grand jury hearing room.]


Kehe: Will being interrogated by Azog/Barry Lasenthal (Brian Howe).

He won’t reveal the source (duh).

Crucchiola: Ah yes, the A&M Aggie.

Kehe: Will’s perfected saying “no sir” this season.

It’s very satisfying every time.

Crucchiola: Every time.


[ACN conference room.]


Crucchiola: Back in the ACN war room.

Kehe: People are HIGHLIGHTING DOCUMENTS. Which we know means serious journalism is happening.

Crucchiola: Maggie is probably over-highlighting.

Because everything is crucial.

Kehe: Maggie is crucial.

Crucchiola: Ugh. HR Rep Wyatt is back.

Kehe: HA. He wants to know why Don (Sadoski) hasn’t accepted his Instagram friend request.

Don accepts, sends secret note to Sloan (Munn).


[Sloan's office.]


Crucchiola: Awwwwww!

“Sabbith” is Don’s Insta password.

OTP!

Kehe: And she just accessed his account to delete their adorable couple pics.

Crucchiola: I love them.

Kehe: Charlie is asking Sloan if there’s another/better buyer.

Crucchiola: Sloan is … omniscient?

She can contact Elon Musk, Michael Bloomberg, and Larry Ellison.

Kehe: These are our people, and we can’t even do that.

Crucchiola: Like, really easily.

Kehe: Sloan is our person.

Crucchiola: Classic Sloan tangent.

This one’s about Working Girl.

She IS our person.

Kehe: Antoinette Dodd MIGHT be a potential buyer.

And Sloan apparently has her on speed dial.

Crucchiola: Sloan: “Nobody has $4 billion. But yes she has $4 billion.”

Charlie admits fearing Pruit.

“I can’t fight these fights with this guy. I WON’T win!”

Kehe: Aw. “I’m tired, I don’t want to expand the definition of the news, I want to narrow it.” Preach.

Sloan says she and Charlie should meet with this Dodd.

Crucchiola: Sloan and Charlie together are so lovable.

I’d watch that spinoff too.

Kehe: Sloan and anyone.

Crucchiola: YEP!

(Except Jim.)


[Return to the war room.]


Kehe: Back in newsroom.

Crucchiola: More problems stopping them from running the story on the leak.

Kehe: Mac is demanding the story air Wednesday—per the source’s demands.

BUT the guy who wrote the PR story in Kundu is still in Kundu so if the story airs he’s in danger of being executed. Or, he MIGHT still be in Kundu.


[Jim's apartment.]


Crucchiola: Now onto Hallie and Jim at home.

Kehe: He’s making a sandwich. She’s typing.

Crucchiola: Hallie says she doesn’t want to fight and Jim says he doesn’t want to either.

And he’s so obviously lying.

Kehe: They’re fighting by not fighting.

He wants to know what she’s working on.

Crucchiola: Hallie’s editor wants her to write more personally.

DUN DUN DUUUNNNN

Kehe: The one pitch her eds liked was her “experience with the Plan B pill.”

This means Jim and Hallie are having sex.

Crucchiola: Jim: “Cool”

“It’s my role to support you. It’s a role I’m grateful to have, and I want to do it well.”

ARE YOU SERIOUS, JIM?



Kehe: Jim, don’t say anything don’t say anything don’t say anything.

He said something.

Crucchiola: “Does your piece begin ‘Dear Penthouse, I’ve never written anything like this before…?'”


The Newsroom

HBO



[Judge's office.]


Crucchiola: Thank God Becca is here to save us.

From Jim’s Ivory Tower monarchy. [Eds. note: I think you mean "misogyny."]

Kehe: She’s in the judge’s chambers, along with Will and Azog.

Marcia Gay is so convincing I want her to represent me/WIRED/newsrooms everywhere in First Amendment matters, and life.

Crucchiola: Is Marcia Gay Harden actually a lawyer in real life?

Because she should be.

In my deep understanding of the law, she would be an amazing litigator.

Kehe: She litigates my heart.

Crucchiola: The judge presided over a case Will argued in the past!

I think he really likes him.

Kehe: Does this mean he’ll be lenient?

Crucchiola: Hmm…

Kehe: Nope. He just granted the government’s request.

Crucchiola: Good for him.

Be impartial.

Kehe: (a court order to name the source)

Crucchiola: Will nods stoically.


[Back in the ACN conference room.]


Crucchiola: Sloan and Don are having a couple fight in the war room.

Kehe: Sloan: “Your logic is consistent though horrifying.”

Crucchiola: Don wants to know why the story needs to run Wednesday.

Mac adjusts her posture…then bails out!

Kehe: She says she’ll be gone for four hours.


[A sushi restaurant.]


Crucchiola: Uncle Charlie and Sloan are at lunch with the potential alternate buyer, Toni Dodd.

Kehe: She seems promising.

Crucchiola: Sloan is the ACN MVP.

Kehe: They’re exchanging financial jargon.

Crucchiola: It CAN’T be this easy! The buyer wants the network!

Kehe: Charlie to Sloan: “You were on fire in there!”

Crucchiola: Sloan is beaming.

She’s not given enough opportunities to shine like this.

Kehe: Charlie is a TAD suspicious.

Because Toni didn’t eat her sushi. That is suspicious.

Crucchiola: Sloan thinks he’s overthinking.

She should be proud of herself.

She’s possibly single-handedly rescuing ACN from the evil twins.

Kehe: Who are where, BTW? Maybe nobody cares.

Mac arrives at a secret meeting in what appears to be an anonymous rest stop.

It’s raining.

To emphase SECRET.

Crucchiola: POURING.

It’s a meeting with the source, who’s outside because her car may be tapped.

Mac’s begging for more time.

The source has zero respect for the job the journalists have to do!

Kehe: She’s extremely self-righteous.

Crucchiola: Oh YEAH.

And Mac rightly asks her why she won’t just willingly trade places with Neal and ship herself off to South America and go on the lam.

She’s having her cake and eating it too.

Kehe: I’m sure Edward Snowden was much easier to deal with.

Crucchiola: “Dump the documents and I’ll quit my job, walk to the FBI, and give them your name.”

YES, Mac.

Kehe: Emily Mortimer: so effective at a righteous takedown.

Crucchiola: So effective.


[Inside a bar.]


Kehe: Now Maggie and the ethics prof are playing pool.

Why can’t Maggie shoot.

She stinks.

Crucchiola: Hahaha.

She’s reading Hallie’s latest column out loud to Professor Ethics (Jimmi Simpson).

Kehe: It’s titled “Old Media Guy and New Media Girl: An Analog Romance,”

in which Hallie refers to Jim as “Tim.”

Maggie’s defending her.

Hallie: “My boyfriend loves me but he doesn’t like me.”

Crucchiola: Professor is being a liiiiiiittle presumptuous.

Kehe: Annnd he’s calling his shots, which is making him uglier by the second.

Crucchiola: Maggie: “I’m always grateful when a man can tell me why I’m thinking what I’m thinking.”

Uh-ohhhhhh…

Kehe: Professor Ethics is accusing Maggie of defending Hallie because she’s secretly in love with Jim.

Crucchiola: Prof: “Any man in your life is going to be the runner-up.”

Kehe: It’s true, but how would he know that?

Maybe he watched Seasons 1 and 2.

Crucchiola: LOL. Yeah he really had some inside narrative info there.

Kehe: Yeah, two dates in and he’s preternaturally aware of her hidden desires?

Crucchiola: I hate that you seem to be right about Maggie and Jim being brought back together.

Sick.


[ACN office.]


Crucchiola: Cut to Hallie and Jim in the ACN office.

Kehe: OK, now they’re on the roof.

This feels like the end.

Crucchiola: … Hallie is blaming her computer for hanging their dirty laundry in public?

Hallie.

Kehe: I know.

Crucchiola: Stop.

Kehe: Her star is rapidly dimming (but not Grace Gummer/Meryl Streep Jr., who’s doing a very fine job).

Crucchiola: And Jim’s smug face is getting MORE cemented on his face.

Kehe: The most Sorkinest of fights: loud, fast, impossibly articulate, possibly meaningless.

Crucchiola: Jim: “I hereby declare the amateurs are awesome and professionals are so 20 years ago.”

The Sork hates THE INTERNET!

Jim is The Sork!

Kehe: When you say “The Sork” I recoil.

Crucchiola: Hahahaha—so does he!

Oh.

OH.

There it is!

Jim: “Tell me you know I’m right. Please.”

“I have spent time with hardcore drug movers, and they don’t pretend they’re selling medicine!”

He just compared digital media to DRUG DEALING.

Kehe: Hallie slumps down next to Jim.

Crucchiola: Jim doesn’t give a damn about Hallie. Like, at all.

Nothing is as important to Jim as being right.

Kehe: I think he wants her to dump him.

Which she’s doing.

Jim: “I’m gonna miss you”

Crucchiola: Every single fight is about him being right.

“You’re gonna miss a lot of things, Jim.”

Kehe: Good one, Hallie. That barely even makes sense.

Crucchiola: I feel like Jim is who Sorkin is, Hallie is the world, and Will is who he wishes he was.


[Will and Mac's apartment.]


Kehe: Will and Mac in bed.

Wait, why are they in this, like, unfurnished apartment with no electricity?

Their bed doesn’t even have a frame.

Crucchiola: Well they are renovating.

Kehe: …in every way: personally, professionally…

Crucchiola: Hahaha—Mac calls out his irritating Irish stoicism.


[Back at ACN.]


Kehe: With the help of the state department, ACN got that writer’s family out of Kundu.

Crucchiola: Back in the war room. Mac: “Jenna [intern], your future is limitless!”

I love Happy Mac.

Crucchiola: Reese looks like he’s going to cry in front of Mac.

Says they can’t run the leak story at all!

BECAUSE OF PRUIT.

Kehe: Apparently Pruit likes that Will is going to jail.

Crucchiola: Pruit is a sociopath.

Kehe: Reese is so beaten down.

Mac: “THIS IS HORSESHIT.”

Crucchiola: Poor Reese.

I do feel bad for him.

Kehe: So bad.

Crucchiola: “Do we EVER get to win one?” asks Mac.

Not this one, Sorkin.

Kehe: Give Emily Mortimer the awards.

Reese says Will is doing this for Mac.

Crucchiola: He does everything for Mac.

Kehe: Her wordless reaction is beautiful and touching and heartbreaking.

Crucchiola: And her delicate frame crumples.

APPLAUSE, EMILY!

Kehe: Don arrives to comfort her.

Crucchiola: I’m comforted.

Mac says they need it pack everything and label it and ship it off.

And is asking Don who the most responsible journalist he knows is…

“Someone who needs a break.”

Kehe: His old J-school professor.

Who’s 70 now.

Crucchiola: AWWWWW SLOAN CALLED DON BUBBA!

Kehe: Sloan just called Don bubba.

Crucchiola: Shit.

HR Rep saw them hug.

Kehe: He has a document signed by Sloan declaring they’re a couple.

Crucchiola: Um…Sloan?

Kehe: She didn’t think he’d read it?

Sloan: “Eventually is a wonderful time of day.”

Crucchiola: “Don and I like to make decisions about lying on a case-by-case basis.”

Kehe: Don just gave an impassioned speech about how much he loves Sloan and doesn’t want either of them transferred.

Crucchiola: WHAT WHAT?

Kehe: Wait.

Crucchiola: The HR guy was screwing with them for kicks because he’s bored?!

Kehe:

Crucchiola: It really WAS that useless?!?!

I love it. I think I love it.

Kehe: I don’t know if I do. Maybe a little bit.

Crucchiola: Aaron Sorkin you SCAMP!

It’s just so IDGAF.

Kehe: Sloan is checking her Bloomberg terminal.

She sees something.

“Shit”

“This can’t be happening!”

Nooo.

Crucchiola: NO!

Toni the potential alternate buyer wasn’t serious about ACN!

Kehe: So there was a reason she didn’t eat her sushi.

Crucchiola: She’s buying ANOTHER MEDIA COMPANY.

Kehe: But Charlie still thinks she’s buying ACN and is storming into the boardroom to say so.

Where Pruit is signing docs.

Crucchiola: Pruit to Reese: “Dude I told you in college one day I was going to buy a company out from under you. I gave you like 15 years warning.”

Kehe: Charlie to Pruit: “you fiber-optic YACK.”

Crucchiola: What?! LOL.

Kehe: Pruit already knows Toni isn’t buying ACN.

How?

Who cares.

Crucchiola: Pruit: “I’m going to take you into the 21st century. Right after I drag you through the 19th and 20th.”

Kehe: Charlie: “We’re sworn enemies now, he and I.”

Crucchiola: We are supposed to hate Pruit.

Kehe: We do.

Crucchiola: And I do, so much.

It’s worked.

Sorkin has dragged ME back into the 18th century.


[Will and Mac's apartment.]


Crucchiola: Mac to Will: “Don’t you know that anything that can be proven by courage and character you’ve proven a long time ago.”

I’m getting weepy!

Kehe: Will saw Charlie cleaning his gun with bourbon muttering “Kill the wabbit.”

Crucchiola: WAIT.

Kehe: Mac reveals she’s spoken to the source twice.

Crucchiola: Will keeps calling the source “he.”

But it’s a “she”!

Kehe: So … DOES he know her identity?!

Crucchiola: Does he know he doesn’t or does know?

Who knows?!


[Courthouse.]


Kehe: Well, Becca knows: now she’s invoking reporter’s privilege in her courtroom speech.

Crucchiola: Finally in court.

Crucchiola: Becca owns that power suit.

She IS a power suit.

Azog blah blah blah.

The judge wants to know what the harm in running this story is.

The judge wants ACN to persevere.

Kehe: Azog says our security is at risk.

Judge asks Will what he should do.

Crucchiola: Of course he does.

Kehe: Will admits he’s sympathetic to Azog’s position.

Crucchiola: Classic pragmatic conservative Will.

I respect that.

Will: “I appreciate the defense my attorney mounted. But my heart is with the prosecution.”

“But I can’t give you the name of my source. I’m just not allowed to.”

Kehe: Also classic idealist principled Will.

Crucchiola: How do you spell Will McAvoy?? I-N-T-E-G-R-I-T-Y.

Kehe: Judge orders Will to surrender himself to US marshals at 5 that night.

Azog walks out.

Everybody stares.

Except Maggie, who has the guts to say, “Hey you know this is bullshit.”

Crucchiola: Damn straight.

Kehe: HEART AND SOUL

Crucchiola: THROUGH AND THROUGH

Kehe: Mac is telling Will she wants to get married now.

Crucchiola: Yes yes YES!

“We have 300 people coming to a wedding you’ve been planning for 25 years!”

Kehe: Despite that, she just sent out a shotgun invitation to her listserv.

Crucchiola: She invites the staff via email and everyone is so happy.

Kehe: CUE MONTAGE

Crucchiola: Will: “For that little stunt I’m gonna marry your ass!”

Kehe: Docs are being shipping to Don’s ex-prof.

Crucchiola: Is this the old reporter?

Kehe: Aw, yes.

Crucchiola: Is she getting the docs?!

Kehe: Someone is singing “Ave Maria” in the background.

Crucchiola: She’s going to do the right thing.

Kehe: Well look at her: She’s incapable of doing the wrong thing.

Mac is picking out a dress.

Don and Jim are buying the ring.

Crucchiola: Jim and Don are getting wedding bands!

Sloan is on cake duty and Maggie is doing the florist job!

Jason this is all so adorable!

Also they have NO other friends besides their ACN family.

Kehe: It truly is.

Makes me wanna plan my boss’s wedding.

Crucchiola: Hahahaha!

Kehe: Charlie is scouting for musicians.

Crucchiola: At Juilliard, yes?

Kehe: He sees woman singing “Ave Maria”—which accounts for the song in the background.

Crucchiola: Charlie’s heart looks like it’s breaking over and over for so many reasons.

Kehe: The song is ACTUALLY being sung—nice.

Crucchiola: Mac is a devout Catholic?

Kehe: Just go with it.

Crucchiola: Right.

Kehe: It gives this scene religious/emotional resonance.

Will is asking his priest to do their wedding.

Father: “Will, wanna pray with me?”

Crucchiola: He respects her faith.

Kehe: For some reason that makes me weepy.

Crucchiola: Me too.

Kehe: Remember Beyonce’s “Ave Maria”?

Crucchiola: I remember falling apart, so yes.

Kehe: We are reporting LIVE FROM THE WEDDING.

We’ve been waiting three seasons for this.

Crucchiola: Maggie telling Jim at the impromptu wedding that he needs to make a “canyon grand”-sized apology to Hallie.

We have!

Jason!

IT’S HAPPENING!

Kehe: As Azog is leading marshals to arrest Will in cross cuts.

Crucchiola: The DoJ marches up the steps of City Hall to snatch Will up fresh from his wedding.

Kehe: It’s a beautiful wedding.

Crucchiola: Intimate.

Perfect.

Sloan is Maid of Honor!

OBVIOUSLY.

Kehe: Why is this Godtalk making me so emotional.

Mac says I do.

So does Will.

We all do.

There’s precious hand-holding.

Crucchiola: I forget that they are the great love of each other’s lives for YEARS at this point.

Kehe: Becca sees them in the hall, notably does NOT say congrats/anything.

He’s being arrested.

Crucchiola: Mac only barely lets go of him!

JASON I’M LOSING IT.

Kehe: Mac kisses him passionately.

What IS this show?!

Crucchiola: But they aren’t dramatic about it.

Just strong.

Steadfast.

NO CREDITS NOT NOW!

Kehe: No, I need to wipe my eyes.

Somewhere, Dan Rather is WAILING.

Crucchiola: I hope he’s with loved ones.

This must have pushed him too far.

Kehe: He is, Jordan.

These are his loved ones.

Crucchiola: You’re so right.

You’ve never been more right.

I feel the same.

Kehe: OK, let’s compose ourselves and discuss.

Crucchiola: I’m so glad I watched my friends just get married.

Kehe: We were at that wedding.

Crucchiola: Do you think we will ever see Neal again?

Maybe in like the last 4 minutes of the show?

Kehe: I briefly considered that.

Crucchiola: He’s stopped being a person and become a symbol.

Kehe: Then decided I don’t care.

Crucchiola: Right.

Me neither.

Kehe: I mean, he can’t come back.

Unless he wants to be tranquilized by US justice.

Crucchiola: I think Sorkin declared full native status in this episode.

Kehe: (by which Jordan means: a complete rejection of technology)

Crucchiola: He basically called new media slingers and all social platforms tantamount to drug dealers. And pornographers.

Yes. Complete rejection.

Kehe: Which is OK.

This show is about the death of tradition.

Glory.

Romance.

Crucchiola: Yes.

And he seems to submit to that death.

Kehe: As it itself is ending.

Crucchiola: Like, he feels its inevitability.

Kehe: The demise of the show parallels the death of old media.

Crucchiola: Sorkin knows better, but the age of Sorkin is at an end.

Kehe: It’s incredibly self-aggrandizing and kinda incredible.

Crucchiola: It’s like the elves knowing that their time is done, and that the time of Man is upon us.

Kehe: Exactly.

Crucchiola: (who will no doubt ruin everything but OH WELL it’s time)

Sorkin is getting on his ship to go to the Undying Lands.

Kehe: And we’re getting all 11 endings.

Crucchiola: Hahahaha!

Kehe: This season is one long goodbye.

To Sorkin.

To news.

Crucchiola: To Tradition, as you say.

Kehe: And to cable TV, in the Sorkinverse.

Crucchiola: Oh yeah.

And family values.

Kehe: JESUS CHRIST SORKIN.

Crucchiola: Seriously!

Kehe: I can’t resist you.

Crucchiola: If this show was on for 23 hours a day I would sleep for one hour.

Kehe: Who but Sorkin is capable of this?!

Crucchiola: No one else is so self-righteous that they could pull this off.

Kehe: His show about the news is being canceled, so he turns it into a death poem for the industry.

Crucchiola: You magnificent bastard, Aaron.

Canceling him = canceling a way of life.

Kehe: Amen.



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