It feels like a lifetime ago that Rustin Cohle first darkened our doorways with his bleak and opaque philosophizing, and yet, it’s only been a year! And even though time is a flat blah blah blah, one more trip around the sun means it is time for True Detective Season 2. And along with the trailer for that juggernaut, we have a few more small-screen entries to add into the mix alongside a pair of festival darlings and one Human Centipede. Oh yeah. It’s back. Humanity is a dazzling spectrum, and we celebrate all of it here in the weekly trailer roundup.
The One Everyone Is Talking About: True Detective Season 2 (Above)
So many intense glances! We went into everything we know about the new season when the trailer dropped last week, but that answer is basically … not much. There are no hints that we’ll see the Illuminati work its way into Season 2, but we’re keeping hope alive!
Pause at: 0:06, 0:15, 0:41, and 0:46 for your new stars.
Song: Unidentified new song
The AlternaScreen One: Other Space
Yahoo is adding to its content streaming business with another island of misfit toys. The Community team will now be joined by a dysfunctional shuttle crew on a “routine collection mission” that will obviously push the amalgamation of rookie scientists outside their comfort zones. It looks silly/fun enough to spend eight half-hour episodes watching, but the real news here is that it’s produced by Paul Feig. The cast is mostly semi-knowns like Karan Soni (Betas), Eugene Cordero (House of Lies), Milana Vayntrub (Silicon Valley), Conor Leslie (Klondike), Neil Casey (Broad City), and Bess Rous (Murder in the First). So they’re a big mystery, but I think we all remember what happened the first time Feig put a bunch of unknowns in a show together! Yeah, so this probably won’t be the second coming of Freaks and Geeks, but it could still be fun.
Pause at: 0:38 for humans with gills. Stop at 0:50 for AI with attitude.
Essential Quote: “Your words will be a sweet soundtrack and I choke to death in the vacuum of space.”—The guy with gills
The Netflix One: Orange Is the New Black Season 3
Wow. Nothing like forgetting how much you miss someone until you see their face again and want to hold them close until the end of time. OITNB spent its second season under the dictatorship of Vee (Lorraine Toussaint), and proving that it was a show well worth more than its initial novelty of Real Women on TV. So here we go again, back to Litchfield, and Round 3 looks like it’s going to be a lot of fun. Lori Petty is in our favorite big house now, which can only be great news for us. Crazy Eyes (Uzo Aduba) has taken to writing porn and/or provocative romantic fiction. Red (Kate Mulgrew) is continuing to kick ass. Piper (Taylor Schilling) sounds like she’s really embracing her time in prison, and, wait for it … Alex Vause (Laura Prepon) is back! Because they obviously couldn’t keep her from us forever. We’ve read that Larry, aka Jason Biggs, is out for Season 3, so that means the only thing standing between Alex and Piper is a whole lot of history. We’re so ready to start this processing session.
Pause at: 0:38 for Taystee (Danielle Brooks) being Taystee. Reevaluate your reality at 0:20. Alex looking worse for the wear at 0:40. Hello who are you at 1:05? Nicky (Natasha Lyonne) is out of her prison beige at 1:12! An unholy union at 1:13. Alex brings the pain at 1:24!
Song: Imagine Dragons, “I’m So Sorry”
Essential Quote: “The world is better in black and white. And red.”—Red
The WTF One: The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence)
THIS IS VERY NSFW! As Tom Six promised all those many years ago in a newly Centipede-d world, this would be a trilogy, and so we arrive at the third and final sequence of the ass-to-mouth chronicles. The self-referential framing is through the roof, and the original physician of Satan himself—played by Dieter Laser—is back in the saddle, except this time he isn’t Dr. Heiter. He’s Bill Boss, a prison warden with a whole new, and much bigger, stable of lab rats on whom to carry out his wicked experiments. Six looks like he’s ready to burn it to the ground for the last installment in his gross-out franchise, and while this one looks to be considerably less disturbing than the second one, it will likely be the most shameless. Really, no one should watch this trailer, but in case you’re curious, have at it.
Pause at: You can figure it out yourself.
Essential Quote: “It looks … medically accurate.”
The Sundance One: Me and Earl and the Dying Girl
Here it is! Following in the footsteps of last year’s Sundance smash Whiplash, Me and Earl premiered at the winter fest to great acclaim and took home both the Audience and Grand Jury prizes. Back in January, someone somewhere described it as The Fault in Our Stars but for friendship. That makes sense, but Earl has the decency to be slightly less ham-fisted about all its feelings. It doesn’t carry with it an explosive performance everyone is talking about like J.K. Simmons did in Whiplash, but then again, it’s a different sort of movie. That said, we were quite taken by RJ Cyler as Earl, and the rest of the supporting cast is phenomenal, including Nick Offerman, Molly Shannon, Jon Bernthal, and our forever-mom Connie Britton. When Brooklyn comes out later this year (probably during awards season), the trio of top gets at Sundance 2015, including Dope, will all have come to market. Let’s hear it for the indies that could!
Pause at: 1:28, 1:30, 1:33, and 2:15 for a selection of films by Earl and Greg (Thomas Mann).
Song: Brian Eno, “The Big Ship”
Essential Quote: “Now is not the time for your ‘I’m Greg. I suck. Nothing I do is any good.’ thing.”—Madison (Katherine C. Hughes)
The SXSW One: Animals
We love this trailer because it feels surprising. It’s just a sweet love story about two young things down on their luck and living in a car in Chicago, sustained by their love for one another and feeling grateful for that, until WHOA! He’s stealing from people and she’s holding a lighter under a spoon! While it’s a romantic journey, Animals is also about the horrors of addiction. Star and screenwriter David Dastmalchian (Prisoners) received the Special Jury Recognition for Courage in Storytelling at the 2014 SXSW film festival, and this really does look like a beautiful and tragic way of telling a very common and very sad story. Animals feels unexpected, and we like to be surprised.
Pause at: 0:22 for just a normal cute love story. Just a cute love story with petty theft at 0:38. And just some casual heroin use at 1:26!
Song: Lavender Diamond, “Everybody’s Heart’s Breaking Now”
Essential Quote: “You know we couldn’t have been born into more ideal circumstances.”—Eve Moneypenny (Naomie Harris)
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