The funny thing about this trailer is that it’s probably the one no one is talking about, but since it’s an Aaron Sorkin production, it’s the most important thing happening on television all year—or at least it is to Dan Rather. So, consider this trailer The One That Everyone Named Dan Rather Is Talking About. And bless you, Sorkin. Only you could get away with a promo that posits the end of The Newsroom as the emotional equivalent to the finale of M*A*S*H after only two seasons on air that most people spent hate-watching. (Full disclosure: Our hearts are breaking over the premature cancellation of Newsroom and we’ll be right there will you every Sunday, Rather.)
Pause at: 0:09, 0:11, 0:14, 0:17, 0:21, and 0:23 for snippets of provocative dialogue.
The One You Wish Everyone Would Talk About: Whiplash
How can a dimly-lit movie about a kid studying jazz look so intense and compelling?! We’re digging Miles Teller more and more all the time, and here we see him as Andrew Neyman, a young man attending a top music school who is set on becoming one of the greatest jazz drummers of all time. But he’s not going to reach his goal without the very tough love tutelage of his bandleader and teacher, Terence Fletcher, played by the ever unsung hero J.K. Simmons. No explosions, no graphic novel source material, no superheroes and no potential franchising—just a couple stand-out actors pushing themselves to the emotional brink.
Pause at: 0:07 and 0:45 for Very Ominous J.K. Simmons. At 0:38 we see Neyman getting a symbol tossed at his head for keeping poor time on drums. (This is not fun band camp.) 0:57, 1:09, 1:10, 1:19, and 1:24 show us the bloodsport side of Jazz.
Essential Quote: “See? This to me is the beauty of Studio Band. You walk in here an alternate and who knows when you can be the new core?”—Terence Fletcher, letting his students know they need to always be closing to keep their spots
The French One: The Connection
American audiences don’t get enough Jean Dujardin. Most folks probably know him from his expertly over-the-top Academy Award-winning role in The Artist, where he played a silent picture star tormented by the arrival of talkies. Or maybe they’ve seen him as a satirical Bond figure playing the cocksure Agent OSS 117. In either case, we know Dujardin can do comedy, but he’s clearly a diversely gifted performer, so it’s exciting to see a crime thriller pop up on the radar wherein he’s chasing down the principles of a French drug ring. It looks violent and compelling and conducive to Dujardin’s talents as a physical on-screen presence. Hopefully we get a trailer with subtitles soon!
Pause at: 0:04, 0:24, 0:30, 0:34, 0:36, 0:40, and 1:05 for French places and French people being beautifully French even in the face of cartel-related violence.
Song: Sheila, “Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)”
The Science Fiction One: Autómata
In this Asimovian foray into the future, Earth is experiencing a gradual creep of desertification. Obviously, as humanity declines, a corporate entity rises—in this case a robotics intelligence company called ROC—to address society’s new woes with synthetic beings and assert its quiet vice grip over what remains of life on our planet. And our hero comes in the form of Jacq Vaucan, a ROC insurance agent played by Antonio Banderas. Vaucan is dispatched to investigate complaints regarding defective androids (silly future machines!), but when he starts uncovering widespread manipulations of ROC’s flagship Automata Pilgrim 7000 things go south quickly. This movie actually looks pretty sweet—kind of like if you mashed together I, Robot and District 9 and inserted Antonio Banderas as a scary-future insurance agent to carry the picture. We’re in!
Pause at: 0:26, 0:31, 0:58, 1:13, 1:23, 1:38, 1:43, 1:46, 2:12, and 2:16 for all kinds of crazy future coolness. Melanie Griffith at 0:56!
Essential Quote: “A machine altering itself is a very complex concept. Self-repairing implies some idea of a conscience.”—Dra. Dupre played by Melanie Griffith, addressing the theoretical constraints of our roboticized future
The Ambient Indie: White Bird in a Blizzard
Shailene Woodley co-stars with Eva Green. Is there something else you need here?
Pause at: 0:19, 0:48, and 1:45 for haunting art direction (we suspect there will be a lot more where that came from). Stop at 0:24 for Gabourey Sidibe, who’s always welcome. And obviously all your necessary Eva Green moments are at 0:25, 0:27, 0:28, 0:33, 0:38, 0:41, 0:59, 1:27, 1:29, 1:32, 1:33, 1:42, and 1:51.
Essential Quote: “I was 17 when my mother disappeared. One day she was there, cleaning, making dinner, and the next—she was gone.”—Shailene Woodley as Kat Connor
The Small Screen Standout: Girls Season 4
Like all things Girls, this teaser is insufferable and strangely perfect. Damn it, Lena Dunham! Fine. We’ll watch.
Pause at: 0:12 for claaaassic Hannah.
Essential Quote: “Ahhhhh!”—Hannah Horvath, falling off her bike because of nothing and tumbling to the ground (obviously)
The Scary One: Annabelle
You remember Annabelle, right? The scary doll from the beginning of last year’s fantastic screamfest The Conjuring? Like the really scary one? Yeah, her. Well, she’s got her very own movie now, which means the terror you felt from her presence for mere minutes at the start of Conjuring can now be stretched across 90 minutes in a big dark room. We could describe what goes on in this trailer, but explanation seems rote compared to an actual real-time reaction transcript between two people simultaneously watching it.
Unsuspecting Friend: THE LAST SCENE WHERE IT’S THE LITTLE GIRL
Unsuspecting Friend: OMG
Me: Oh my GOD GOD GOD
Me: The walk run little girl becomes a TALL GIRL
Me: NOPE NOPE NOPE
Unsuspecting Friend: ALLLLL OF MY NOPES
Enjoy!
Pause at: 0:16, 0:21, 0:24, 0:26, 0:48, 0:55, 1:05, 1:13, 1:19, 1:32, 1:51, 2:03 for all the times you can change your pants. At 0:39—why would you keep that doll?! Ahhhhh! Too close at 1:21! 2:06 is a major “Nope!” Hey, what’s going on at 2:09? Stop what you’re doing at 2:16!
Song: The Flamingos, “I Only Have Eyes For You”
Essential Quote: “What is there left to be scared of?”—Stupid priest
The Feel Bad One: Nightcrawler
Once you compartmentalize how distressingly gaunt Jake Gyllenhaal got for this role, this becomes a pretty interesting trailer. Gyllenhaal plays Lou Bloom, a scum-of-the-Earth type who seems accustomed to hustling for his income. Bloom’s moral compass looks shaky at best, so when he falls ass backwards into the super-seedy world of quick response crime reporting in Los Angeles, he sees an opportunity and fashions himself into the Harvey Levin of “If it bleeds, it leads” style journalism. Gross. But Gyllenhaal excels when wide-eyed, psychotic levels of intensity are in order, and we’re betting his Lou Bloom will be a disgusting and fascinating character to follow.
Pause at: 0:30. We weren’t kidding about the gaunt thing. At 0:51, observe Lou in his night crawling habitat, and at 1:12 watch him start smudging those ethical lines real hard. At 1:17 for Renee Russo! At 1:46 Lou starts treading in dangerous waters. At 2:11—whoa! At 2:13, Jake’s just doing what he does best.
Essential Quote: “Think of our newscast as a screaming woman running down the street with her throat cut.”—Renee Russo as a TV news producer, explaining how the business works
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